I thought my urge to set aside creative time was completely related to the lack of writing I have produced over the last few years. Yet the more I try to commit to my plan for creativity in 2009, the more I struggle to make it work just the way I wanted and produce the writing I expected. My attempts to write fiction and poetry have been poor, and not just because I’m still working on a creative routine. It feels as though creative writing is actually boring me a little.
I know that I’m making excuses to some extent. Saying something is boring is a convenient way to practice avoidance… I know that if I churned out more crappy poetry, I would (or I trust I would?) eventually start digging up meaningful words again. I have yet to “walk off” the creative stinger I’ve been hit with over the past three or four years.
But coupled with these natural pains of starting again is an urge I did not expect at the beginning of this process. A lot of my creative energy seems to be bubbling up around potential business ideas. I spend more time thinking about business ideas than I do writing, and I find that thinking more interesting than I do the creative writing. I’ve also been taking on additional freelance work, pulling back to only a couple days a week working at the family business.
I’m starting to wonder if it’s time to be more intentional about this, create a business plan, and form a company. In addition to freelance consulting, I’d like to dabble in developing some of the web and knowledge sharing ideas I’ve had. It’s been established that an economy like this is good for entrepreneurial risk-taking… although I don’t view these potential directions as risks. I view them as natural extensions of opportunities I already have, a way to capitalize on relationships and strengths I’m already developing. If anything, I wonder what would happen if I didn’t get serious and formalize my work as a business now. Would I miss opportunities? Would I lose the chance to leverage connections or knowledge that could help me be more successful?
These are broad hypothetical questions, but I find myself asking them a lot. I’ve asked them ever since I was 14. I feel so fortunate to have had early, ample exposure to entrepreneurs. These included my dad, who started his business when I was 14. Since that time, I’ve watched him grow it carefully to the humble, strong company it is now. In some ways, the company was wildly ahead of its time. In other ways, we are a few years too late on some innovations, like our emerging green product line. My dad started using green cleaners for pest management in a local school district in the 1990s. Instead of innovating a company and a product line at that time (he had three little kids and was obviously more risk averse), he shared the idea with others. Now it feels like we are playing a bit of catch-up in that regard.
Given these experiences, and knowing that I am already semi-invested in a consulting career, I feel a strong pull to let myself dive in more intentionally. And that can be creative in its own right, I think. Maybe it’s actually the best way for me to express and merge my creative and analytical sides? I’m just not completely sure what it looks like yet. I’ve been browsing a lot of websites, comparing my skills to those of other communications consultants, thinking about a target audience of potential clients (presumably non-profits, but I don’t want to jump to conclusions), and drafting summaries of my strengths and capabilities.
I’d be interested to hear from others who have gone through a similar process, or those who care to speculate on what they might do in the same situation! If you are a full-time business owner now and were once a casual freelancer, how did you make that leap? What were the indicators that told you it was time to get more serious?
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
Emily,
It makes sense to me that you would turn a hobby into a business. Just make sure that you are still passionate about what you’re doing.
I have definitely gone through the “crappy writing” phase. I’m happy to say that I feel like I’m actually digging myself out of that place – after a lot of crappy writing first though.
I’m writing a fiction novel and it is slow-going as well. I struggle with structure, plot, and defining the characters. Sometimes it seems like I can’t churn out the words, and I wonder if I’m really that interested in writing the novel or if I actually just like the idea of having a novel.
The best test I have as to whether I really want to write it, is whether I spend time thinking about it or not. I tend to try lots of different hobbies and get bored with them within a month or two. But the best moment so far in my novel was when I had a need for a character I hadn’t thought of before – I defined her on the spot and all of a sudden she is one of my favorite ones. I can tell she will play a pivotal role in the plot too, so I’m excited to see where she leads me.
Anyway, TMI, but I think you’re on the right track. Just the fact that you’re thinking about it means you will figure out the right solution eventually.
Emily,
I hope that you can take the leap! We chat with women all the time about when they made the decision to make the plunge to work for themselves full time. We’ve heard some very structured formulas (eg. make sure you are making 60% of your current income via your biz before devoting all of your time to it), but for the most part, women talk about how their day job held them back. Going out on their own made them accountable and was more strongly aligned with their core values and their dreams.
We’ve heard speculation about going out on your own in this economy, and while you most definitely need to be comfortable with risk, it is a fantastic time to be investing in yourself. Furthermore, if you can make it in this climate, think about how you will do when the tide starts to change.
Best of luck! (not that you’ll need it)
Loaded Bow’s last blog post: The Facts about Women in Business
Emily,
As a fellow creative, I know the struggle of finding your “groove”. I’m a web designer/developer by day and a fine art painter at night. I seldom have time for the latter but when I do paint I’m always happy with what comes out.
When I went to college I wasn’t happy with the idea of being a starving artist but I didn’t want to give up on my talent. What I did was find a career that would afford me creativity and a dependable salary, kind of like meeting in the middle. I still express myself on canvas but only when I succumb to the it’s call.
IMHO…
To try to dictate a routing for your creativity is not inline with creativity itself. My advice is to make your writing a priority but not to assign it a time slot in your daily life. Let it dictate when it needs to happen and make sure that you do when it’s calling. I also think that the time in between will be more comfortable because you wont feel guilty for neglecting your writing. You can not force creativity.